I'm with you. In Hand Job Winner 7 I would want to see Kagney Linn Karter kiss, stroke and get fondled for at least 5 minutes. What I've got is 20 seconds and then a close-up of a cock. Why on earth would a director think that a heterosexual guy is interested to see a huge close-up of a cock? It's beyond me. And why do we need to see penetration all the time? I believe them that his dick is inside her. I don't need that constant proof. Give me something better to look at, like her bouncing tits, her facial expression, her tongue out of her mouth as she is lost in the moment, her sweat. Edited by - robocop on 9/4/2010 12:07:53 PM
Guys wearing big steel watches, while otherwise perfectly naked. It ruins the show for me somewhat. Its reminds the viewer that the guy is just a pornstar who has to wear the watch to look at the time.
....it's either very new cheese or very old meat 102 Posts 12/09
Posted - Sep 6 2010 : 8:18AM
Right, here goes. Apart from all rough scenes where the girl's pretty unlikely to enjoy it (the Gia Paloma donkey-punch incident just sounds awful), the following also tends to either grate, or be a bit extreme. Excessive Gagging Blowjobs: Lots of spit is a good thing, but I've seen a few Max Hardcore, Slapp Happy and Whoreabuse titles out of curiosity, and found them a bit too much (Brandon Iron's stuff is my limit I think). I think it's a case where the idea of it tends to be more of a turn-on for me than what actually happens on screen Max Hardcore's speculums: Never understood why he uses these as we can't always see inside anyway thanks to all the plastic. Guys spitting at/in mouth of girls: Can't ge on with this one. I understand kissing itself is an exchange of saliva, but this has no turn on value at all. I'm not concerned about degradation of women here, as I'm sure it's done with consent. It just seems a bit disgusting (will they start picking noses and eating each others snot after this?). However, I'm totally fine with girl/girl cumswaps/cumspits, so maybe that's me contradicting myself..... Disparity between box-cover images and shot-quality: I've always been incredibly hacked-off to discover that box covers feature still photos that are much superior to the way the movie's been recorded and/or post-produced. I understand the best way is to get separate photo-stills for promo-materials, but the video should at least match this. Music throughout a scene: Thankfully this trend died out a while ago, but a lot of potentially good gonzo releases (Anabolic/Diabolic spring to mind here), have been spoiled by bad tunes. The worst part is when there's good female performances (mid-90's - early 2000) who've since left the industry, and the only work left behind to see them in features interruptive music over the top. Over-prolific performers within 1 studio: Quite a few studios seem to have small, limited rolodexes of performers which they use throughout a lot of their releases rather than utilising new talent. It's even worse when the male performers are in absolutely everything. Weak/non existent cumshots: I realise it's only part of the movie, and this is no slur on the performers personally, but tiny cumshots are a real let-down. I dont mind non-projectile dribbly ones a-la Steve Holmes or Brandon Iron, but there should be at least a few centilitres to the climax Belladonna's studio chopping cumshots from releases: I couldn't believe it when I watched Butthole Whores 3 and at the climax, a message pops up telling me to go to the website just so I can see the money-shots. I understand these were too risque to put on DVD, but they could have shot an alternate cmshot-take (hassle though it might be) rather than abandoning the entire climax altogether, which was a Major Anti-Climax. Lack of Japanese and Chinese females in Western Porn: There's a slew of Asian themed titles out there, but these all seem to feature SE Asian/mixed-race actresses. Damn fine as a lot of them are, I'd love to see cultural barriers broken down some more and see genuine Japanese and Chinese girls being teamed up with white/dark guys.
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Karloff Deactivated User
319 Posts 7/10
Posted - Sep 6 2010 : 9:20AM
Very good list. Add the incredibly boring pornotalk - the word "fuck" should be banned.
I hate when guys throat fuck hard on a woman and then when they go to the actual fucking, y go WTF!!?? The fucking is so weak. I hate certain women performers who are dub "pornstars" seem to run away from dicks and/or not letting the guy fuck them in one position no more than 1 min. Are there only 5/6 guys who can fuck straight for 5min or more w/o always stopping?
WTF? How is a cumshot risque in porn? What's the point of making an incomplete dvd? That would make me much less of a Belladonna fan, if I had ever been a Belladonna fan.
When It's comes to the "N" word as a black man that likes white women it's a turn-on when they use with black male talent. But i can see where that could be an uncomfortable feeling and you don't want to be uncomfortable watching porn.
....it's either very new cheese or very old meat 102 Posts 12/09
Posted - Sep 7 2010 : 5:28PM
Yeah. The 'risque' bit is apparently the official line in review boards (what I've read), though I'm scratching my head wondering what possible illegal activity could have occurred during those precious seconds. I'll second a marketing ploy theory. Still hasn't turned me off being a fan (her own line seems to have some of that X-factor missing in a lot of porn), though I'd hate to see her become so cynically business minded by charging extra for the basic tenet of every porn movie - the money shot.
C'mon ... surely someone has seen the ahem offending moments and can describe what's so tasteless about them that they had to be left off a DVD which had hours of sodomy and gaping assholes.
Wielding a sword without fear of it is to be unworthy of the blade. 1441 Posts 5/10
Posted - Sep 8 2010 : 12:24PM
This is not something that bothers me as much as it amuses me. When a starlet moans, screams, "omg" in ecstasy, while she is being tit fucked WTF!!! I could see an occasional "oh yea fuck my titties", but some of it is a little over the top IMO. Crimson Rain...What A Sight
At the end of the day, it is what it is. 629 Posts 12/09
Posted - Sep 13 2010 : 11:48PM
I don't like imbalance in the level of contact in a bbg or bgg. A bgg where one of the girls is barely involved is a waste unless it's a girl I'd like to ignore anyway. A bbg where the girl is almost only doing one of the guys is also stupid.
It's my own fault for not paying attention to titles,but I hate normal scenes with weird gimmicks.I watched a scene where the girls's "husband" is wathching her get fucked(that's annoying enough) at the end of the scene he eats the other guys cum off his wife.I quickly learned to avoid anything with cuckhold in the title.I watched another scene with a favorite of mine who's now retired where after a great scene she spits the guys cum back into his mouth.There are some strange things added to what is supposed to be hetro porn.I'm also not a big fan of cum swapping some times the girls go back and forth 3 or 4 times,what's the point.
You blame the camera operator, but I think your complaint is with the editor. The camera operator's job is to capture the action. They need to capture closeups, mid-range, and wider views. Whatever they don't capture on tape live isn't available to be included in the final video. If the final video includes too long of a closeup, the problem is with whomever did the editing. It's difficult to tell if the camera operator captured a variety of angles to provide the editor with interesting options, but the editor chose the long drawn-out close-up of the guy's dick goin' in and out. Blame the editor, not the camera operator.
Lack of Foreplay - I see too many scenes where hired dicks ignor foreplay in general and breast fondling in particular. I can enjoy seeing her breasts, but can only enjoy touching them vicariously if the guy plays with them. Why have a hot girl and not play with her breasts? There's more to sex than poking his dick into her until the director tells him it's time to masturbate himself.
My list: 1. Tattoos -- This I do not get at all. A couple prime examples of very attractive women who have pretty much trashed their looks with ink. edit 2. Piercings -- It is so disappointing to see a performer who has a lovely rack and yummy nipples only to be turned off by the presence of hardware. And this goes for the excess metal in other anatomical areas. See the above two performers. 3. Anal with no doggie -- Good God Almighty!! How can you not use this position? It puts the woman's ass in the perfect location relative to the camera. What looks better than an arched back and a nice round butt? And that performer looking back at her partner. Yet some of these genius directors failed to include it. 4. Saliva, spitting, gagging, quacking like a duck while performing fellatio -- Give me a break, this is all crap. 5. Pulling the thong to one side, shoving the panties out of the way -- Just take the underwear off for Christ's sake. 6. Sucking strap ons, licking dildos, holding a dildo in her mouth while fucking another girl with it -- Just plain stupid. Those are my opinions, make them yours! obo [mod edit: no need to mention specific names. We got the idea.] Edited by - killbillvol69 on 11/14/2010 6:23:36 PM
Seeing a girl gag on a dick or getting face fucked vigorously. That's not sex and it's not hot. If a girl is going to do porn, she should know how to give head.
At the end of the day, it is what it is. 629 Posts 12/09
Posted - Sep 18 2010 : 2:55PM
Another thing about names. Why don't young porn actresses take a cue from Alexis Texas et al and come up with a halfway decent name? I think part of the success of Alexis Texas comes from her name!
I know I've said this before in different terms but one that has been getting to me for a long time is what I'd define as "strained fucking positions". Which means positions in which the participants have their bodies (Or parts of them) strained to an extent that it appears almost painful. A good example of this would be during reverse cowgirl where the female has her back arched at an extreme angle and is bending way back as she rides the male. There is absolutely nothing visually appealing about RC when it's done that way. It also obscures the woman's face. RC is a great position but it's a whole lot better when you can see her face and her body is in a relatively normal position.
i know, porn names are so unoriginal now. on another thread, i pointed out there are two Taylor Raes and one Taylor Ray on the bangbros site. is it really that difficult to come up with a distinct fake name
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deadmanwade Deactivated User
161 Posts 9/09
Posted - Sep 26 2010 : 12:25PM
British girls in US porn who fake an indisinct and often awfully transparent American accent. Yes Sophie Dee, I'm looking at you! Also Morgan Leigh is guilty of it but she doesn't do penetration so there's more wrong with that than a fake accent. The same goes for if any american girls try a british accent although i think only Jenni Lee did that once for no reason at all in a scene as far as i know and it was some fake cockney Mary poppins rubbish.
I don't like it that the girls almost always have a huge amount of makeup on when doing a scene - Many look so much better with subtle makeup I really dont like it when a girl is getting DP in cowgirl and her ass is held open the entire time. It seems like established formula to hold the girls ass open for the entire sequence whe filming CG DP. I think that cheek spreading is hot- but only when done in moderation, because it distorts the bulbous shape of the girls ass and stops her cheeks for jiggling as she gets pounded. In fact the forced cheek spread is so well established that I started to think I was odd and that most porn watchers found jiggling female ass cheeks revolting or something. But Amy Brooke's Gangbang Auditions scene is ripe with bouncing cheeks (probably the best ever) and I haven't heard anybody complian, so I guess I was wrong. If you like that sort of thing check out the Mercedes scene in the first "Ripe and Ready". In fact the CG DP with free cheeks is what I mostly seek out when I look for porn, and it is so rare that I never get to see many of my favorite girls this way, even when they do many DP scenes. Another thing that makes me wonder is that it seems spreading the cheeks doesn't give much better view of penetration - and often leads to the penetration getting blocked by the arm holding the cheek open. Edited by - bubblicious on 9/28/2010 8:54:28 PM Edited by - bubblicious on 9/28/2010 8:54:53 PM
I Dont Care For Girls Opening Up Like A Sink Hole, Sorry But I Wanna Finger Her Pussy, Not Feel Like I Am "Noodling" And Something In There Might At Any Second Bite My Arm Off :) Addison O'Riley
#SDNY he's all yours. -- Michael Steele 5110 Posts 3/03
Posted - Sep 28 2010 : 11:02PM
^ That made me laugh out loud. Noodling, for the uninitiated. I'm picturing a Jay Sin movie featuring 200 lb channel catfish being pulled from the anuses of young Russian women.
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious - Brendan Gill 723 Posts 4/09
Posted - Sep 29 2010 : 8:37AM
If this thread continues much longer, it will prove that every thing that has ever been done or said in a porn movie and every person who has ever appeared in one has been disliked by SOMEBODY. Anyone looking in on these posts to get ideas for the porn movie that pleases everyone has, by now, given up and gone home.
from johnjohn99 'double vags/anal/bj's....whom exactly is the target audience for that?'
i believe its the spinal tap crowd 'but these go to 11' my hole fits 2 , more is better , everything in texas is bigger blah blah blah as noted by the postceeding ideas about fisting legalities . also my first post and i am checking to see if i referenced correctly that post , this forum is different than i am used to. Edited by - mister_blank on 9/29/2010 6:47:10 PM
It's impossible to please everyone, but looking through this list, there do seem to be some things that are widely disliked, but which appear continually in porn anyway.
The obsessive cheek-spreading thing needs to die. It's not just in DP's, either. It's ruined many a doggy and cowgirl scene as well. I just wanna see some hands-free jiggling!
i hate same scenerios and same positions. they look all same and fake to me... girls that seems like they are having extreme pleasure 80s and 90s are more attactive sometimes...
The woman looking back at the camera while riding cowgirl style. Just makes the whole scene look artificial.
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Luke Lake Deactivated User
878 Posts 8/10
Posted - Oct 1 2010 : 6:06AM
- Girls that talk where you can't understand what they're saying (Terrible English as a 2nd+ Language) - Girls Naked at the Beginning of a Scene - Oil - Dressing 18+ Year Olds and Underaged? Girls - Guys who do really bad Nerd Impressions - Candlewax - Trying to Use Interracial as "Taboo" - Racism in Porn (The Bad Kind) - Showing a Guys Butt
I hate this. Even worse are the scenes where the girl didn't start out naked but they edit it to condense the undressing to a few seconds or less. I just watched a scene last night where the girl starts out standing wearing a black minidress and within 5 seconds (through the magic of rapid-fire edit sequence) she's naked and there's a naked dude entering the scene. WTF??
Hazel Heart Interview
Posted - Sep 4 2010 : 12:02PM
