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Penny Flame

All Forums > Star Crossed > Star Crossed Forum Page 97 > Penny Flame > Penny Flame (page 8)
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Ultrasiet2
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1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:01AM
That was pretty low.

She was really cool. He was an ass hat.

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:02AM
He fucked her like Taryn got fucked in FUCK MY ASS. Yep, that means the ass hat brought a friend along.
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:02AM
Lauren kept yelling 'I used to be a redhead, fuck me gremlins.'

To my knowledge, she was never a redhead.

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:03AM
I started to wonder if maybe she'd ever loved me at all, or whether she was an Ass Hat plant.
 
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:04AM
I went to have a drink to get over this heinous betrayal, but even there, I could hear Lauren, my girlfriend, screaming 'Fuck me! Fuck me like an ass hat!'
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:04AM
I asked the waittress for twat waffles but she told me they weren't on the menu.
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:05AM
So I had to settle for a bagel smeared with marmalade instead.

I thought to myself, ingesting the tart concoction, would Penny ever eat anything like this?

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:06AM
This got me thinking - what would Penny do in this situation? Her girl has betrayed her ass for an Ass Hat Fan. What should she do to get over it?
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:07AM
It was then that I ran into Wesley, my Trinidadian friend. Wesley was known as 'Skank Frank' because his middle name was frank, and he sold dope. The kind of dope you light with a Penny Flame.
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:08AM
He even had a special lighter with him.

It read: "Penny Flame got game"

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:08AM
I loved the lighter! It was almost as cool as a Penny Flame shot glass I'd scene, that had a picture of her vagina on the front, smoking a joint.

Okay, maybe it wasn't as cool as that.

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:09AM
He asked me how I was.

I told him my sad story.

He laughed at me.

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:09AM
I was ready to hit him. After all, he could be an Ass Hat in disguise.

I balled my fist and imagined he was Papa Smurf, who I never liked.

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:10AM
I was about to paste him one when he said ' Chillax, Twat Waffle!'
 
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:11AM
His vocabulary so astonished me, I didn't end up completing my swing.

He smiled at me and said, 'You know what your problem is?'

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:11AM
'My girlfriend's being spit-roasted by two Taryn Thomas fans,' I said. 'And she's supposed to be a Penny Flame fan.'
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:12AM
'Apart from that,' he said.

I noticed he was wearing a 'worship the Flame!' T-shirt. It accentuated his pectorals.

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:14AM
'Tell me' I asked him.

'Your problem,' he told me, 'is that you think there is such a thing as love.'

Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:14AM
'When in fact, our Lady and Savior, Penny Flame, tells us that there is only two important things in life - sex and dope!'
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:15AM
He smiled as he said this and I noticed her had a Blazed and Confused scarf around his neck.
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:16AM
Penny, you could turn this into a script for the next BLAZED AND CONFUSED. I even have added the product placement for you.
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:17AM
I realised that Skank Frank was right! In the 'Flame Diary', the holy text of the Twat Waffles, she says it on the first page!
Ultrasiet2
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Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:17AM
"Nothing in the world matters except dope and sex!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:17AM
In fact, it's the only writing in the entire diary.
 
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:18AM
It's a really easy holy text to read.

It's available in paperback too.

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:19AM
Skank Frank had changed my outlook.

I was so elated at that point!

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:19AM
Lauren never loved me! How could she? How could I have loved her?

She wasn't a marijuana leaf!

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:20AM
She wasn't even a joint!
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:20AM
She, however, was a good fuck...
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:24AM
I told this to Skank Frank...
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:24AM
He told me - 'Hey man, plenty more twat waffles in de bakery!'
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:25AM
He even called me a grindsman, which is rasta slang for a guy who fucks a lot.
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:25AM
Frank was so right.

Twat waffles are everywhere.

And they're really nice!

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:25AM
Really, really nice sometimes.
 
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:26AM
Just like Penny.
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:26AM
It was at that point that I witnessed an apparition.
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:27AM
I thought it may have been sidestream effects from the dope Skank Frank was smoking, but I hadn't even had a toke yet
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:27AM
The apparition was a misty, miasmal version of a very familiar goddess...
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:29AM
Our Lady in Nirvana, Penny Flame!
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:30AM
'Hey Ultrasiet, you drongo,' she said, smoking a bong. 'What's happening?'
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:31AM
I started to tell her but she interrupted me-
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:31AM
'That was a rhetorical question, you cumquat. I know and see everything!'

Frank Skank laughed. So did Penny. It sounded like this:

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:32AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:32AM
You might call it derisory laughter.

But it was loud!

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:33AM
'FRank Skank helped me solve my problem by reminding me of the first, and only, tenet of Twat Waffledom.'
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:34AM
'Frank's a genius,' pointed out Penny. 'And a great lay!'

Frank nodded his head enthusiastically.

Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:34AM
'I've actually baked waffles in Our Lady's Twat!' he exclaimed.
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:37AM
'Listen Ultrasiet,' said Penny. 'You seem like a decent sort of follower. A little annoying and obsessive-compulsive, but decent. I'm going to tell you something I only tell my very best followers. This piece of wisdom will change your life.'
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:38AM
I waited eagerly for her words...
Ultrasiet2
Wam Bam! Clan

Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under!
1433 Posts
12/04
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 4:38AM
(400 posts!)

...when a gunman came into the room wearing a hat shaped like an ass and shot Pennyseven times in her ghostly chest.

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